Who Is Me?

I am no Borges but I have been inspired by his stories today. I was minding my own business at home without much to do and left my bed room to go to the computer. I walked slowly and suddenly I saw someone sitting at my computer with his back towards me. I was caught by surprise and hesitated for some moments without deciding to go on or stop my walk.

The computer room is across from my bedroom and it is just a short walk. I realized that I was alone and how could someone be at my computer. I did not want to call him because I did not know who to call and by what name. So finally I decided to slowly to walk to my computer and sometimes it seemed it was taking forever to walk eight to ten feet and at the same time it seemed it was not taking time at all. I seemed unafraid and I did not feel that the person sitting in my computer was dangerous at all.

However, by the fact that I walked slowly showed that there was some caution on my part although I was not aware of any fear as I said. The caution maybe was because I felt that something very important was about to happen and I did not know what. I had no idea about what was about to happen but I had a sense that it would be tremendously important to my life and perhaps for the life of that person I was about the meet.

So as I walked many thoughts crossed my mind and what was supposedly to be a second had taken almost a life time, I felt. The person seems so concentrated in what he was doing and did not seem to see me approaching.

I was at that moment walking on my toes and everything seemed so silent that you could hear an ant walking if one happen to pass by. In such state of silence one almost get lost as if he is not himself anymore. I was as if I was walking on air without touching the ground and no wonder, I thought, when I realized it, that the person in front of me had not heard my footsteps.

By this time I was very close to him and undecided to touch his shoulder or not. He looked so familiar that I began to think if there was another version of me running around this house without me knowing it. What I thought and I said to myself was how could another me be walking around this house and sitting at my computer, a computer I felt was not exclusively mine anymore because there was someone using it when I was not around. Even if it was me I did not know that me.

It was really odd, I thought. However I don’t have any secrets in the computer so I don’t mind anyone working on it and even going through my stuff. I guess lately I have been losing interest in secrets and in my own possessions. What bother me a bit was that he was doing something in my computer without my permission and that brought the attachment to my possessions as if they belonged to me when in reality nothing belongs to us although we very often think so. We are delusional with thoughts of ownership which only distract us because everything of the world belongs to the world and to no oneself. As Jesus said give to Caesar what belongs Caesar and give to God what belongs to God. No wonder Jesus walked this planet with no fear whatsoever and even his body he gave to Caesar.

I realized finally with all this I was just delaying for some unknown reason the inevitable meeting that was about to happen at that exact moment. All this time that person never looked back or made a move to look back in my direction in any form or shape. I wondered if he was deaf and could not hear all the voices which I finally realized was only in my head and for sure could not be heard by him. But then I realized if he was me or one part of me, he should have heard by now all the dialogue in my head.

As there was no pressure and no hurry in my part, I began to be more aware of what was going on. I began to realize again and again that I was traveling out of time and space floating in a vacuo beyond my imagination. It was an interesting sensation and could go on forever and I could perhaps never meet the person in front of me.

However that was not my objective because I wanted to know who was finally sitting on my desk, in front of my computer and seemly working on it. I was still undecided when my left hand rose slowly towards the shoulder of that person and stopped in mid air.

I realized then that I had lost control of my body and that there was someone else moving it and he was not myself either. Now things really got strange because there was three of us in the room and I only knew one to be myself something I began to doubt at this point. Did I really know myself? It was a question that came in a flash and passed by quickly with no definitive answer.

So three questions came to mind immediately who is the one moving me? who is myself? and who is the one sitting in front of me? I seemed to have answer for only one question which at that moment, as I said I begin to doubt although until that moment I thought I knew myself well. So with one question partially answered about knowing myself, I had two to answer and it was mind boggling.

Then I thought that the one moving me perhaps was some unknown part of myself until that moment who had done that before I remembered. As this was going on I thought there was a riddle to the whole thing and it was with the person sitting in front of me and I had to turn him around and see who was it.

Finally then my left hand touches his shoulder I thought with such a care and tenderness that I thought he had not felt my touching at all because in reality I am right handed and should have touched his shoulder with my right hand, I thought. So he did not turn around immediately. In these few seconds I thought If I should press my hand strongly upon his shoulder or just wait for him to respond. It took a few seconds before I felt that he was about to move and turn around to allow me finally to look at him in the eyes. At this moment I realized I was anticipating all that was about to happen. I was right I guess he was just taking his time as much as I had taken mine. However those few seconds outside time and space are not the same as the second in time lived in it at all. The best way I can explain it is to say that outside time and space it can take longer or no time at all for something to happen. This seems to be a contradiction but when you are living it, it is not.

When he finally turn around slowly and with no hurry or pressure, I could not believe who I was looking at and I guess you would not believe either. It was with an unsurmountable surprise that I finally realized that the person siting in my computer was myself and that I was looking at my own self in body, mind and everything else. I did not know what to think or what to say. However I thought if this is me, who is me and who is the one moving my body. In that moment everything went pitch black and everything disappeared and left me speechless and without any thoughts or words. There was only a scrap of thought questioning was this real and I could attest to it in flesh as I touched and felt the touch to the shoulder of this person who is supposedly me. So I begin to doubt what is real and what is not although intellectually I can grasp at what is real for question of seconds. However to this day I have no clue what is really real or not. Do you?

Some thoughts came to mind about all this business of what is real and what is not real. If we do know what is real or not and we are sure of it and believe that we do know not only intellectually, there are two possibilities or we are a sage, completely enlightened, or we are in the darkest of our ignorance. If we don’t what is real or not, there are three possibilities: if we don’t know what is real or not, one possibility is that we are out of our minds and lost in delusions like some kind of schizophrenic human wondering without direction asking: Who is me? If we don’t know what is real or not and we don’t know that we know, we are lost with a light on our hands and don’t know we can use it or we don’t know how to use it. One way or another we are lost. If we don’t know what is real and knowing that we don’t know, we do something about it, we are two steps ahead of the pack.

God Bless You,

Antonio

Unthinkable Thoughts

Open your mind’s eyes my friend

Let the light of love shine upon thee

Walk the path that leads to the high lands of truth

Swim in the ocean of eternal life

Run the miles of happiness, silence and peace

Let there be born the wisdom of hope

And when the time comes let the showers of purity wash your heart and mind

Live freely within the prisoners who walk aimlessly this lonely planet

Look and see beyond the walls of hate, despair and fear

Awake to the shining star that lights the world within

Never stop flying in the wings of the present silent moment

Remember yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not here yet

Why to worry about tomorrow when today is not even finished yet

So create and recreate your life being a traveler of travelers

The seed is there within my friend

Let it sprout with the warmth of the morning sun

And life will be the most marvelous journey of all

Open up my friend

Love is knocking unheard on your front close door

Open the door and let it enter

And when it enters your little house open all the windows

This way it will not be blocked and locked inside of fear’s misery

Blessing all around you with its unmatched perfume

Only then you can say that you are alive and living the highest life of all.

God Bless You,

Antonio

The Wisdom Shines Forever

There is a Light, a Wisdom, a Peace, or a Silence inside you that never wears off, disappear or dissipate

It does not matter how evil or destructive you have been that the True music is always playing on the background

You can never, ever, put away the Light of Truth

You can never, ever, lose your mind’s Wisdom

You can never, ever, finish entirely with your inner Peace

You can forget It, make as if It does not exist or take a long time to find It

And It does not matter the darkness that surrounds It, It always will be there shining forever within you

A place where your worldly thoughts can never reach

Where your cries of fear, depression, anxiety and sadness can never reach

Where your temper tantrums of anger, violence and malevolence can never reach

It was not made by you, but it was a Gift of God to you

You can give God many names Truth, Brahman, Jehovah or Allah

The name is not important because the Gift is the same

This Beauty inside you shines forever and ever in the Heart of Our Beloved

Our Beloved Who lives inside each one independent of differences and prejudices of any kind

Cultivate It and don’t put It aside even for a second

And life will shine as never before

Share it with your family, friends, neighbors, employees and even your enemies

And life will shine as never before

Make It your daily bread, your daily prayer, every second of your life

And life will shine as never before

Open your heart my friend and let the stream of Love flow

Open your mind my friend and let Fountain of wisdom to pour

Open your being my friend and let Peace engulf everyone and everything

Open your mind my friend and let silence and stillness reveal the Truth to you

This is life at its best

Here the winds of the world cannot move the leaves, flowers and divine petals of life

Only when you forsake this Truth that life will depart from you

Misery will follow you in every corner as your shadow in the darkest night

Accept It, cultivate It and give It freely away to everyone

And happiness beyond your imagination

Will make you dance under the sounds of the most divine music

You can call this Truth, Christ, the Buddha, Krishna, Shiva or simply Self

The names are many but the experience is One that unites us all

You can call It Love, Wisdom, Happiness, Joy, Peace or simply Silence

The names are many but the experience unites us all

Say It, sing It, hear It, smell It and taste It every second of your life in the most simple things

And nothing, nothing, in this world, without denial of your feelings, will have the power do make you unhappy

Nothing, nothing, in this world, without denial of your feelings, will have the power to make you fearful, angry or sad

Nothing, nothing, in this world, without denial of your feelings, will have the power to make you greedy and violent and in this way you will close all the doors to hell

Nothing, nothing, in this world, without denial of your feelings, will have the power to instill the burning desire for lust in you, and through this you will recognize that gold has the same value as coal living a simple and free life

Nothing in this world, not even your worst nightmare, without denial of your feelings, will have the power to move your being

This is life at its best

When this permeates every second of your whole life your way to Heaven is open

Only then life will be worth living because it will have a profound meaning helping you to bring Light and Wisdom to every situation that you will face

Only then one can bring real changes thinking about the well being of all and not only about oneself and close associates

Don’t think that this is a far away dream my friend, because it is not

It is closer than you think inside the Core of you

But don’t forget that it requires much work to place aside the rest and to reach the perfect balance

So don’t wait and just begin your journey if you have not yet began

Continue if you have began and the end is certain as day and night, and as the flower is certain at the harvest when it was cared well and its soil has been well nourished

Arriving at the end the Highest Wisdom will be there to help you through

And beyond this, words are meaningless and unspoken, and the being becomes silent

God bless us all
Antonio

Beauty Beyond

You look up in the sky beauty stuns you.
There is an opening out of those partially heavy clouds.
It is like a painting that someone just finished painting.
There are no words to describe what you see and experience.
There is only silence, observation and appreciation
of the beauty that lies before you.
Words are so limited to describe what is limitless.
It is such a marvelous sight that you fly in the wings of peace.
There is such a space inside that fills the infinite.
Oh! Dear Lord what did the being do to deserve such a sight.
The being feels humble and like fallen on his knees.
It is Your reflection the being knows that washes the soul
of all the dirty that was here just few seconds gone.
And now the being can contemplate
what only Your Love shines within.
It is beyond imagination and beyond all that has gone before.
The heart pounds with joy and love and peace beyond comprehension.
The mind is so still and quiet that nothing can move it.
Everything else but this beauty lies within it
untouched by anything else.
The colors, the shapes and the space beyond them arrest the mind.
Where has the being been all this time lost in the trivialities of time.
Missing all this all along which is necessary only to look up to see.
Give the being the grace not to lose this anymore
although he knows he will.
But the future is not here yet and the being can take
infinite joy in the moment
Just being in this moment which will last to eternity is grace given.
You have conquered his heart, mind and soul forever
not now, but long ago.
However only now the being is really rediscovering that
You went nowhere.
He needs just to look up to find
You, Your Beauty, Your Joy and Your Silence.
Because below the mind is trapped in everything
the senses can touch upon senselessly.
But the heart, mind and soul is now employed
only to remember You completely.
The being will work until the end of his days to remember You always.
He knows that many times he is going to fail but it does not matter
because he knows that Your Heart will always be open.
And there allow the being to lie gently in Your infinite Arms
from where he has never left.

Silence, Life and Death Part II

So much has gone under the bridge of life here, my friends, and everything is happening so fast that the conscious mind has a hard time keeping up with what is really going on. Tomorrow June 7 it will be a year since the beginning of this retreat. What I work, I can tell you, has been this year and I cannot put a value on it because it is invaluable. Life is shining more than ever before and you just want to go on and see what the next two years will bring.

The last time we were exploring the possibilities of death and how I came out of my bed one day and did not know literally if I was alive or dead. This feeling really brings you home and gives you an urgency to do what is most dear to your heart and mind. So after that I have been working harder and constant to undo the ego and to uncover the Light of the Self participating in a different life which spreads light, happiness, joy and wisdom instead of hate, greed, violence, attachment, and misery. By the grace of our Lord my work is paying off and the Light shines here more then ever before.

This last year I have been to the Hades and back. I have never shaken the hands and hugged so many dead people in my life during my dreams. I believe that a great part of me have died and that there was a resurrection, using a Christian language, justly during the Holy week. It was an experience that I will never forget but it will need a separate venue where I can tell you the whole story. With this happening all the dreams about death have come to an end.

This last month, mainly, I have been close to physical death many times and I was saved in what seemed to be the last minute. Mentally something has died inside of me and all those feelings of death is behind although they come once in a while in my mind. However, they are not so prevalent as before and when they come I dialogue with my mind saying that if I die, I die mainly after everything that I have been through. As soon as I dialogue with my mind that way the thoughts of death disappear.

From my religions upbringing through Catholicism I was trained to be believe that we have to be good and confess to our sins if we want to go to heaven and not hell. It seems to me, through my limited knowledge of the religions, that Christianity, Judaism and Islam have a similar position that we have to achieve certain level o goodness to go to heaven or we are going to hell.

During the time I was going through the most critical moments dealing with physical and mental possibilities of dying I delved into serious thinking about death and search for some light about it on some texts and some theories that I know such as The Bardo Todol, The Tibetan Book of the Dead, the theories of Spiritism brought about by the Frenchman Allan Kardec, as well as A Course in Miracles, The Bhagavad Gita and the Gospel of the Buddha.

Some believe that you don’t die although they all seem to recognize that this body will disappear into the dust that it came at some point in time. Who and what survives then? Nobody really knows for certainty. Science has been hit hard in their proof that when the heart and brain stops there will be no memory left. Some doctors in different hospitals working in the frontier of life and death has found that when the person is clinically dead and come back they relate facts of being out of the body and seeing everything that was going on in the operating room plus a light to which there were attracted to. The only explanation science can give is that perhaps after all the consciousness lives on after the body expires. However if you subscribe to certain belief systems that believe in some kind of spiritual orientation that addresses this issue, it will be no surprise to you such experiences related by people who have clinically died. People who believe in these spiritual systems are sure that there is a Self, some say soul, that survives after the body disappears.

I have always been fascinated and impressed by the life of Socrates, the great Greek philosopher. In the book The Last Days of Socrates, he is shown teaching and playing with his students even minutes before he had to take cicuta virosa, some kind of hemlock, the poison that ended the life of his body. Socrates, according to the reports, showed no fear whatsoever of his body death because he believed if you apply yourself rightly to philosophy, it prepares you for the moment of your body death. One of Socrates students asked how they should dispose of his body and he just laughed and commented saying that his students was worried about the nonessential and that Socrates was not that body that would lying down in a few minutes after he took the poison. To him what they did with his dead body did not matter, but what matter the most was his teachings to them. I want to be in that place that Socrates was when my time comes because I think that there is nothing more beautiful, powerful and fulfilling in life than to be prepared that way having no fear of anything including death.

The Bardo Todol, the Tibetan Book of the Dead, based on Buddhist philosophy says that we never die and that when our body dies, we go through what it calls the Bardo, which is an intermediate state between the moment that the body dies and the moment that we are illuminated, if our karma has been worked out enough, or the moment of rebirth into a new life.

During the Bardo you have many opportunities to be illuminated by retaining your awareness the light of Darmakaya, the Supreme Light of all, which they describe as the most beautiful moment someone has ever dreamed off. However, if you fail to hold this Light in your awareness, you will fall and be reborn again to face more suffering until the next time. Some advanced beings can chose to be reborn and come back to this planet to help and in this case they did not fail to hold the light. Those beings are called the Avatars. It also says that those who does not hold the light has much work to do yet and those are really the bad ones whose karma is really dirty. Who knows who the dirty ones are and they could be a hard core criminal in jail, a drug dealer, a common thief that steals and sometimes kill just for a shirt, they can be a blue collar work doing rotten deals, or they can be one of us who lives a normal life, but attack, deceive and lie to our partner, the children and other family members as well as to friends, coworkers, the government and so on. However, we all have some dirty behind because we all have an ego. We cannot deny that some egos are dirtier than others as there are people who are more destructive than helpful to themselves and their fellow beings than others. It is also important to remember that to the sage a speck of dirt in a clean mirror function as if the whole mirror is dirty and, therefore, there is no difference for the sage if there is only one speck of dirty or if the whole mirror is dirty because they are the same.

The Bardo Todol also says that when you are going through the Bardo after the body death if you are not illuminated immediately, as I said before, you are going to be offered many chances to free yourself from the cycle of birth and death. During this time comes all kinds of experiences through images some bad, really bad, and some good, and these experiences are just a distraction being good or bad, and a production of our own imagination. To reach the Light we need to stir ourselves away from them.

There are other systems that also believe in reincarnation. Spiritism is one example, some kind of religion very popular in Brazil. The spiritualists, people who believe in this system, teaches that this system is a combination of science, religion and philosophy. It is based on the belief of God’s existence, the soul being immortal, reincarnation, plurality of different worlds being inhabited, and on communication with Spirits. For the Spirit Doctrine, the soul or spirit is one of the intelligent beings that lives in the invisible world who temporarily assume a carnal wrapper, the body, with the objective of purifying themselves. The human soul or Spirit incarnated is defined as a being that little by little goes on purifying itself until it becomes a pure Spirit. When incarnated, our bodies is moved by this vital energy or vital fluid, the basic element of life which characterizes itself by the phenomena of birth, growth, reproduction and death. Death happens when the quantity of vital fluid is finished.

According to this system in the moment of death, the soul becomes again Spirit, which means to go back to the world of Spirits, from where it separated from after incarnation in a body, which is short period. As Spirit the soul preserves its individuality never losing it. In the moment of death of the body we go through a confusing period until we adapt to this new situation and begin to know this new self. Immediately after death we are like a person who woke up from a deep sleep and tries to adapt to the waking situation. To Spiritism the time that lasts this disruption after the death of the body is variable and it depends on the level of evolution of each being. If we are already purified we immediately recognized our real self as spirit that has no body because we freed ourselves from matter long before the life of the body ended. However when we are very much connected to the flesh, when our consciousness is not pure, we hold for a long time the impressions caused by matter, impressions left by a body life, in our consciousness. This illusion persists until we are completed free and only then we recognize our true self as spirit and understand that we do not belong anymore the world of the living beings in the body.

For Spiritism the feelings of being a just human, having a pure soul, while facing death is great and therefore we experience no guilt, one of the sources of misery. If we practice bad deeds we are going to face the torments and suffering born out of our own conscience. This suffering, teach the spiritualists, are all moral anxieties that torture us more than any physical suffering. If we are not developed enough, we can stay connected for a period to the Threshold (Umbral) a region situated at the earth crust, a place of shadows, built and cultivated by our own mind when it is sick, according to the teachings of Andre Luis, a spirit manifested through Chico Xavier, a very well known Brazilian medium. The Threshold (Umbral) functions in a region proper for us to finish the mental residues and deterioration of illusions which we acquired throughout our lives. As much as we insist to persist in the illusion and in our errors, more time we are going to spend in this region. In the moment that we awake from these illusions and mistakes, we go to one of the treatment colonies where we can program our reincarnation to complete our learnings and to progress to more advanced stages in our path or from there we can go on to a more advanced stage.

From the point of view of the non dualistic philosophy represented by Advaita Vedanta, an Indian philosophic system and A Course in Miracles which see this world as an illusion, like a dream, build by the Maya according to Advaita or by the ego according to A Course in Miracles life as we know it is just a dream. Thus, life in this body is simply an illusion and also everything else connected with it including this world. So if everything here is an illusion, we made everything up, our egos made everything up, including our bodies like we make everything in our dreams. In this way there is no death and A Course in Miracles states it very clearly in one of its lesson. The Course also says that if there is no death, there is no birth either being both an illusion. Without death and birth reincarnation does not exist either. The Course explains that although there is no reincarnation the term can be helpful if we use it to attest that life is eternal. Life, for the Course, only exists in God and outside God there is no such thing as life. The Course teaches that everything in this world including our bodies was made by our egos as a hiding place from God because in God’s presence the ego is dissolved or transformed. In this way the fear of death is an ego fear of being destroyed and that when we approach our true self, our Self, the fear increases because the ego is afraid of being destroyed. Once we dissolve or transform the ego, this fear will disappear completely. When this fear disappears, when we fear no death, to be in this body or not does not play a central role in our consciousness and we walk this earth like the Son of God Who fears no evil including the evil of death. Not believing in birth and death the Course does not talk about what happen after the body dies but through the Course’s philosophy we can conclude that if we do not wake up when the body dies, we will continue dreaming until this happen and where and when does not matter because time and space, for the Course, are an illusion. Who knows perhaps we go to a parallel universe to continue dreaming.

In Yoga death is seen as a transition from one dimension to another, from one life to another, and from this other life we reemerge again until our cycle is completed. Some yogis describe it as taking off an old garment and put a new one. There is an emphasis on dying consciously and yoga can be a preparation for it. Swami Rama talks about certain yogis who have drop their body consciously and have come back to it. So in yoga when you prepare yourself in the right way, similar to Socrates preparations with philosophy, you lose all fear of death like you have no fear of taking off your old clothes and put new ones on. In this line of thinking we have control over death and cast off the old body, go to another dimension and then when we desire we will come back to a new body to complete the cycle that we need to complete. In yoga also we go through an intermediate state where we have to get acquainted with a new body, which is not so dense as the one we had before we died.

The philosophy of the Bardo Todol, The Tibetan Book of the Dead, Spiritism and Yoga have some things in common. To them reincarnation is a fact and, after the death of our bodies we immediately go through an intermediate state which serves as preparation for a life in a different body. Depending on our level of progress in our life cycles we can go to a different stage perhaps superior or reincarnate in a new body on earth.

When I was going through the most difficult parts of my fear of dying, it helped me a lot to think on the manner spoken by the non dualist philosophy that everything is a dream, that there is no death and that as you approach the Self the fear of death increases. To imagine the clear light spoken on the Bardo Todol, the Tibetan Book of Dead was also very helpful maybe because I was reading it. It took my mind into silence and gave peace to imagine this clear light as clear as I could in my mind’s eye.

Death is a fact of this body so this is not the question. The question then is what will happen next and we saw above many different ways of thinking about what happens next. As we saw above some described a period of transition for which we need to prepare for before death come if we want to have a good passage. I am coming to the conclusion that whatever you really believe in the last moment of your body existence, it is what is going to happen. If you believe like some scientists that life ends with your last breath that is what is going to happen. If you believe like in the Tibetan Book of Dead or in Spiritism or in Yoga that you are going to go through a transition before a new life beyond or before reincarnating that is what is going to happen. If you believe like in A Course in Miracles or in Advaita Vedanta that this life is a dream and that when you drop off your ignorance, your ego, you are just going to wake up that is what is going to happen. Belief is a powerful thing mainly when belief it is coupled with experiencing and we have no idea how powerful it really is until we experience deeply what we believe. In this moment what we believe becomes a certainty that cannot be refuted.

As we can see above each one tells your own story and we can believe in it or not or we can discover our own. Independent of our own story which is a result of our education and conditioning, Love, the Self, the Divine Light in us is prevalent over everything else. Therefore what is most important in spite of what we believe is my deep love and compassion towards my fellow being and this is what all these spiritual systems mean by being really advanced.

A Course In Miracles teaches that it is important to question everything that we believe if we want real freedom. Besides this questioning, it is important to delve deep into our minds and to dissolve or transform the ego to free ourselves from all fear, and to free ourselves from these beliefs and values which was most often taught to us since we were a child and we accepted them without any questioning. Free at last we can accept what came before but now consciously and in a new light or we can make our own story. This freedom is the most beautiful thing in the world and I hope I have inspired you to look for it and to look at death seriously and question your beliefs and values about it because we all have our beliefs and values about it consciously or unconsciously, wanting it or not.

My hope one day is that all of us will be completely free of all the fear of death because when that happens my friends our lives will be free of violence, the need to attack or defend ourselves, guilt, jealousy, envy, hate, anger, fear and all the rest that our egos stand for. Our lives will be full of happiness, joy, bliss, compassion, love, light and wisdom. Then and only then our lives will have real meaning and will shine like a beautiful red rose under the light of the sun and its perfume excited by the light will spread to all the hearts around us and beyond, a perfume that was never smelled before by us, a perfume whose home is not in this aching world of our egos but belongs to the house of the Lord or whatever name you give to the Truth within you.

God Bless you all,

Antonio

Obs.: It was incorporated contribution from Dr. Ligia MN Souza about Spiritism

Silence, Life and Death

From the deep ocean of silence the question haunts the being: what is silence, life and death all about? There is no easy intellectual answer and perhaps there is no intellectual answer about all of this. However, it is an interesting pursuit to try to tackle these issues when you travel on the other side of the world most of the time where all that you knew before is being questioned to the core of your being.

Silence seems so beautiful and right, life seems so unimportant as you knew it before and death is present at the every moment as the mind struggles to find its path toward a new world, unknown, beyond comprehension, where all sounds are played and none heard, all images are seen and they all disappears and shows up again constantly, and all feelings are so unstable as a feather in the wind of a storm that often is difficult to trust them. What is silence, life and death anyway?

When you can get to the real place of silence inside where one thought meet each other, it is like arriving at the top of the all the worlds and as you come back everything seems knew at times and yet old at other times, and all things seems to make sense at one time and no sense at all at another time. It is a dance beyond proportions where harmony is played in the string of life but a different life that you are accustomed in the busy world of the ego trying to reach goals which in the view of this silence makes no sense at all. However, when you step out of this egotistic world everything makes sense even this world as it takes new meaning because it is for sure part of this life as we know it or we were not be here living it everyday of lives. The best use of this life is to live it and then compare it with a new life that you can uncover through the path of silence. So if we did not have this life how would we know that this new life is a royal road to peace and wisdom as this life as we knew it before is the road to pain and suffering.

When you look outside the bubble of the conditioning, beliefs and everything that you were trained and is being trained for, being trained to perform duties without much sense and to adapt to a chaotic social system dominated by war, violence and fear, you open your eyes and look outside the bubble that this world represents where life sparkles like a diamond or like the ocean in the afternoon being kissed by the sun shinning beautifully for the eyes that look and can see to see. Life as we know it lose all these details because we are so busy within with what we believe to be so important that we miss what is really within and we even miss its reflection in the world outside. It is a sad state of being to live in such ignorance with the eyes seemly open but not seeing, with ears seemly functioning well listening but not hearing anything, and with our feelings apparently intact feeling nothing because we are so numb full of goals and objectives dominated by the ego’s restlessness, compulsive desires, greed, envy, violence, fear and everything else in this line of thinking.

When all these questioning and insights knock at your door from the deep cave of silence, death shows up every once so often. Then everything seems to take such an urgency to find what is really real but without need to really do anything in the world outside, to accomplish any goals, to search for answers that do not answer anything because you are already doing what is most important. However, when the ego takes over your mind and fear seems to show at every corner, you tremble for a few seconds. Then you begin to really think and realize in these seconds that death like life and silence might have another meaning and not one we were trained to believe.

Do we really die or not? Is there such thing as death? Or there is a trick being played here in the wings of time and space that we have no idea about it. These things are not easy to answer not because the answer is difficult but because our mind is so trapped by the fear of death that it is difficult to step out of what we were made to believe. So we take the safe road and ignore that we are dying every second as the body withers toward its final and inevitable end that it is here for everyone young or old, good or bad, miserable or happy, rich or poor and so on as we remember the dualities that we can think of.

I guess silencing yourself is some kind of death. All the destructive thinking and behaviors begin to die as you dive deeper into silence and you begin to discover how terrible our egos are. The ego is the most predatory animal in this planet. You can think of worst predatory animal that you can find on the face of this earth and multiply his behaviors a thousand or millions of times then you will find a hint of how predatory our egos are. This is not a play in words and if you step outside de ego's world and look back into it, we are going to realize what I am saying. We human beings prey on everything. Our egos pray on women, men, children, our friends, family members, our spouse, our jobs and work colleagues, and the list goes on. This predatory behaviors take many forms some subtle and some very open. The worst kind it is the predatory behavior done in the name of helping our fellow human being, in the name of doing the good, and it does matter for whom because we are just trying to save our face and trying to help when you are not interesting in helping at all but our egos are interesting in prestige, power, and pride, or to pay for some of its enormous guilt.

I remember when my niece was small and she would cry and cry in the moment that my mother, her grand mother, stepped out of the house to go to the store. I guess she was simply afraid to lose the person who cared for her the most. I was studying behavior therapy in school to become a psychologist, and using this line of thinking I would let her cry instead of comforting or reassuring her, put myself in her shoes saying to her that things were going to be ok and that her grandmother would be back soon. I was trying to extinguish her behavior of crying as say in behavior therapy allowing her to cry as much as she could. I found out later that this was just a cruel way of acting and that my ego was just praying on my niece making a subject of an experiment. How was I glad when I found Carl Rogers, one of the wise psychologist of our times, with whom I had a close association and the main tenet of his line of thinking it is to respect and care for the other deeply be the other children, adult, rich, poor, black and white and so on; you treat them the same and with the same love. You listen to them carefully, you consider them as consider yourself, you put yourself inside their skin, their shoes, you don’t lie to them and you are not destructive to them so that they can grow healthy. You don’t use them as an object of experimentation. If you are in any kind of relationship you just cannot miss knowing more about Rogers’ philosophy and theory of psychology and education.

Let’s look at death in a deeper way and exploring what is going on here as I face it every once so often thinking of it as a possibility. I guess this is predictable after completing last week nine months of silence. The ego is desperate and it attacks you in all kinds of forms knowing that he is against odds beyond its comprehension. I am not sure some times that my body is going to survive this although for all that I have gone through so far due to pain and sickness with healing coming what seemed to me in the last moment gives a tremendous certainty that someone will be there at the end, someone that I am beginning to know. Also my dreams sometimes have been reassuring in this direction. The other day I woke up at my usual time for meditation, at early morning, and as I stepped out the bed for a few seconds I did not know if I was alive or dead. What an interesting feeling. It will be great explore this and more things next. (to be continued)

God Bless us all,

Antonio

A Talk with the Great Masters

My dear friends talking to the Buddha, Socrates, Jesus, Siva and Krishna this season I heard the news some old and some new. I am not sure if I will be able to translate it right because when you are a translator you never know if you are translating accurately but I will try anyway. I hope you will forgive any mistranslation on the part of this humble soul who is searching for the ancient wisdom that blesses the inner core of every living organism.

The old news is, say the Masters that human beings are in despair building sand castles, houses on the sand, and building their foundation on top of nothing. Violence, greed, competition, hate, jealousy, pride, prejudice, and all the rest that goes with it are overflowing the boiling pot of every nation on earth and human beings are lost in trivialities trying to resolve secondary problems of limited importance. In the science of cause and effect the primary problem is the cause and only by resolving the cause can the problem be really resolved in this way all the secondary problems will take care of itself with no need of extra effort on our parts.

When only the secondary problem is worked on it feeds the fire and brings more competition and greed and people try to fill their little corner with crumbs of bread in detriment of others and no real agreement can be reached although many intelligent minds sit around the table to work the problems that we face as one nation under the roof of what we call this world. This is not all. Can you imagine how expensive is it to gather every president of almost every nation of the world in one place, each traveling on his private plane with all the gadgets possible, all the staff possible and all the others that only go for the ride staying in expensive hotels and eating expensive meals? However everything is well justifiable by the ways of the ego. I bet you that this amount of money conservatively would feed thousands of hungry men, women and children walking around every nation in this world be that nation poor or rich, developed or underdeveloped. We hope you don’t think about this as a criticism because it is not. To criticize you need to place value judgment and there are nothing of this nature here because there is no anger and no hate in the mind and the heart of the one translating this message. All guns are silent in this corner and can fire no more bullets. This is though recognition of what is going on in the world today. This is not against any government and for the people and vice-versa because there are no taking sides here. It is not difficult to recognize that in both sides we have the good and the bad and the ugly.

The other old news is, say the Masters that human beings or they have no clue what the real problem is or they know it and don’t want to face it. So their perception is distorted into seeing secondary problems as the cause and the primary problem as a secondary problem so that the real cause is never worked on because no intelligent mind can bring it to the table a task that can only be done by a mind full of wisdom which is never invited to such gatherings. The question is how long we are going to stand such level of pain and suffering and how long we are going to allow our minds to be distorted and to be deceived without facing the big challenge of resolving the real problem.

We are being forced through secondary problems to get together because the primary problem is being ignored and has its whereabouts unknown for most human beings in the face of this planet. However deep down the primary problem is knocking on the closed doors of our bewildered minds and unaware of it we send our governments to work on the secondary problems but the unconscious hope is that once there they, by working enough on the secondary problems they will finally discover the primary one. However we are mistaken because following the wrong path they never will. Another reason that they never will find the real problem is simple: they cannot. The discovery of the real problem lies in our hands and nowhere else but we are afraid. However the Great Masters say that the only hope resides within each of us; we need and have the power to surpass our fears which are based on lies made by our own egos.

The other old news is that the primary problem is that of lack of love which causes separation and separation breathes sickness, suffering, pain and wars. We are separated from every other human being in this planet because we are separated from ourselves and we don’t care about ourselves and therefore we don’t care about one another as deep as we would if we would recognize this painful state of affairs that we are in. Wars, competition, disagreement, quest for success, greed, and lack of love are all signs of this painful separation. It is one nation against another, it is one culture against another, it is one race against another, it is one political party against another, it is one religion against another, it is one family against another, it is one brother against another, and it is husband against wife and vice versa, it is women against women, it is men against men. it is men against women and vice versa, and the list goes on. How blind my friends can will still be?

Would not be great to have a meeting throughout the world where the primary problem was discussed? Would not be great if the primary problem was addressed and a plan was set to end all this miserable state of affairs? Would not be great if we had a meeting to create a new life for human beings based on love, compassion and communion? Would not be great to have a meeting where we would discuss how to end separation and therefore sickness, wars, suffering and misery in this world? Would not be great if we had meeting to learn how to silence the guns of anger and hate?

The new news, which only is new because, if we are not doing much about it, it means it is new otherwise it would be also old, is that the primary problem has a solution and we are not condemned to starve any longer then we decide to. So it is a simple problem with a simple but not so easy solution. Let’s rise up and stop this madness. If the primary problem is that of lack of love which causes separation, it does not take a higher intelligent mind to find the answer but it does take a mind full of wisdom because the answer cannot come from the intellect by merely uttering nonsense words without any meaning. The answer can come only from an experience between two or more human beings who decided to silent the guns of hatred and anger and refuses to raise them up even when they are attacked and deceived like did the great sages such as Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr. and many others who took to heart the practical example of the Great Masters of Love Socrates and Jesus.

Love is a powerful force, say the Masters that is available freely within every human being who has walked, is walking or will walk this grassy land. They are not talking about the love that we mostly know about through words that have no meaning at all and are only empty promises that never are realized. They are talking about a Love so profound that is deeper in meaning than our own meager sense of love so common to our little selves which play everything safe and by the rules set up to conform, to adapt, and to play by the book of a crumbling society. Love is more than that and it is something so deep that we don’t even have words to talk about it not only because words are limited or because we cannot describe It but also because It can only be experienced internally. Although it can only be experienced internally, it can only make sense in deeper ways when It is extended to other human beings creating an encounter, a meeting, that allows life to flourish as never before, and so we become happier as never before, we come alive to live life as never before, and we treat others as we would like them to treat us as never before. The good news is that if we meet one human being in this way, said the Great Masters of this news, we would have met all human beings in that moment in the same way although we might not ever have been in their presence because time and space do not play a part here. Therefore, after this meeting we would be entangled forever like two particles and wherever we are our minds will never lose perspective of each other and we remember one another without any sign of anger, despair, hate, jealousy, competition and all else. We will remember one another with a respect so profound which is the kind of respect reserved for the dearest part of us where lies the peace of God.

In this way my friends what the Masters are trying to say is that the answer can only come from within us and depends on our meeting in this exact moment when we lose sight of our separateness and remember each other so dearly having met each other or not. The Masters say that there is no need for fancy meetings where people who are lost talk about trivial things and march like lost souls through the corridors and streets of life carrying in their lost minds and in their lost hands guns of hate and despair instead of the flowers of Love getting almost nowhere although they show a satisfied face to please their constituency. However here and now between you and me, say the Masters, in this conspicuous meeting is different and lies the answer because our satisfied faces have a Light in them that brings down every gun and raise up a hand full of flowers which sparkles like diamond in the middle afternoon ocean being hit by the beautiful yellow and reddish sun’s rays. This is a call to inspiration my friends, let us rise, let our minds free and let us bring with us this season the Light of wisdom to everyone that we possible meet or think about through Happiness, Love and Compassion allowing Wisdom to transform all fire into Light opening the eyes and mind of the most blind soul walking this planet.

You can copy this and send it to anyone that you would like to and my hope is that every President, every Prime Minister, every King and Queen, every Dictator and everyone in charge would get a copy of it. Just credit the blogger with his name and his blog address. Mostly important is that you do something about it right now among your friends and family taking advantage of the season’s gatherings to cheer them up with the good news of the Great Masters and so invite them into the circle of Love and Compassion because we need as many people as we can in this world to be awake to heal all the madness and the insanity that we are facing. More let’s send messages, letters and e-mails to everyone in the world living inside a friendly or unfriendly country, a friendly or unfriendly religion, a friendly or unfriendly culture, and so on inviting them with this call for inspiration to participate in the circle of Love and compassion, letting our enemies become more than friends by letting them to become our saviors who can save us from our anger, hatred and despair so that the garden of Light and Wisdom can grow even more.

God Bless all of us.

Antonio